Muang Neua - "Farang Hunting"
By far this is a top-three experience of my entire 12 months away. I decided to take
an 8 hour boat ride up the Nam Ou river - alone - to a small town called Muang
Neua. There is not much written about it. I was making my brave bid for the
Vietnamese border. Celene was going to fly from Vientienne to Hanoi and I was
going to take a series of insecure buses and try to cross the border in the North.
You never know until you try right? So we parted ways in Vientienne and I made
my way via bus back up to Luang Prabang (around 15 hours) and then the next day
I got in a tiny boat with three other travelers and got cozy. It was now or never. It
was the rainy season and reports of closed roads and stranded buses were rampant.
Oh yeah, I only had about $27.
Upon arriving in Muang Neua, there were no immediate accommodations visible, but
I wasn't looking for any because I was determined to find a bus that would take me
closer to the Vietnamese border. We docked and everyone scattered. I was told
many different things by many different people - "the bus comes tonight at 9:30pm,
the bus comes tomorrow..etc etc." I did not get a straight answer from anyone.
Instead of finding a place to sleep, I settled down with a few beer laos at an Indian
food resteraunt. Yes, an Indian food resteraunt. I then encountered several
travelers, two guys and a couple that all spoke english. Four hours later, no bus
showed up, there are no lights, only candles and it was now absolutely pitch black. I
had no place to stay but I stuck with the group of travelers I met and we made our
way across the huge bridge back to the 'expensive hotel' on the other side of the
river. These hillside bungalows were the equivalent of $15 per night! Remember,
this was a place where the poshest rooms were about 10$ a night!! They were tiny
bungalows but more securely made than most, with concrete walls and foundation
instead of bamboo thatching and a hose (aka the shower) was inside the room, not in
a separate showering hut We all hung around and chatted until late and then it was
time to go to sleep. I was going to wake up early and get on that bus! So I got to
the bus stop at 8:30am and wouldn't you know it, but the bus had come the night
before! Supposedly. Still not giving up on my dream of going into Vietnam via the
northern route, I inquired of anyone and everyone I met. Met a couple of older
travelers who were going by motorcycle all over South East Asia. They promptly
informed me that the roads were washed out and the trip took 13 hours, not the
intended 7. In addition, no regular bus went from the border to Hanoi. It was by
private rented car/taxi only...for probably $60!! I was running low on kip anyways,
there were no atms in Muang Neua and I had limited options. I was now resigned to
getting back to Luang Prabang (via bus not slow boat) and then off to Hanoi via 15
hour bus to Vinh, Vietnam and then another 15 hour bus to Hanoi. I had a deadline,
I was to meet Celene in three days time. I was already way behind and there was
no internet access to let her know. I had my fingers crossed and bought myself
another Lao Coffee.
All this information came to me by 9am. I had three Lao coffees, seven cigarettes
and an M-180 (energy drink of the non-US approved contents). I WAS READY
TO START MY DAY. If I wasn't going to cross the northern border, then
goddamnit, I was going to have myself a fucking adventure. So I went "farang
hunting".....'Farang' is the word for tourist in Thai, granted I was in Laos but to hell
with it. I met up with the two guys and the couple from the previous evening and
pitched them my plan....it was now 9:30am.
My plan was to get the regularly scheduled ferrying boat up-river to a smaller village
and rent inner tubes and float downriver a la VangVien-style. After a bit of
persuasion, I got the four to agree. Then we went to the river to inquire about the
boat schedule. Well, turns out that the first boat already left and the next one didn't
leave until late afternoon. That wouldn't work. I then hustled a bit and asked how
much it was to rent an entire boat. It was a very expensive $45!! Well, doing some
quick math, I decided that I'd find seven people to come on this adventure with me.
I informed the others that it would be $5 each and we'll be taking a private boat...we
just need to find a few more people. I ran across the bridge to the other side and
promptly began knocking on random hut doors. My coffee-fueled enthusiastic pitch
was given to several people- some spoke english... others didn't. My opening line? "
WANT TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE?!?!?"
I recruited a wonderful English couple and we all set off toward the dock. The dock
consisted of seven hand-poured concrete stairs leading to the waters edge. This
'village' was a village. A 'T' intersection where the bridge (where the hell did this
bridge come from?!) went over the river and a bunch of bamboo and concrete
hut-structures. All dirt and mud. TONS OF MUD. Did I mention it was pissing
down rain?
We all stopped off at a little place that looked like a store and bought 2-3 liter-sized
Beer Laos each and cigarettes. I had a waterproof case that I shoved my cigarettes
into, my camera was left in the hut (thankfully!) and we set out in the boat. A few
locals asked if we could give them a ride and we welcomed them with open arms.
After dropping off a few people along the riverbank and drinking most of our beers
(sharing with all passengers!) we arrived at a tiny village about 45 minutes upstream.
We scrambled off, not understanding what our boatman was trying to tell us. We
were looking for the 'tube guy'. He was apparantly upriver even further, doing
what...we weren't sure (his sister, who owned and operated ALL the tiny resteraunts
in the tiny village was the one who told us!) But we managed to convince our
boatman to take us to him for $5 more! Woo hoo! Onward adventures!.... lets say
after three liters of Beer Lao I was determined! We arrived at this anchored but
floating covered raft. It looked like the itty bitty open patio of a houseboat. There
were 12 Lao men chillin', eatin' and drinking! We essentially crashed their party.
The 'tube guy' was there, spoke to me, I negotiated to have everyone get a tube for
a reasonable fee and then hetold me he had to go get them....they were in the village
we just came from...at his sisters resteraunt! It's still pissing down rain by the way....
We were told to sit and hang out. We did. We then got introduced to "Lao
Whiskey". What exactly 'Lao Whiskey' is, I have no idea. All I know is that we all
sat in a circle, cross-legged and 2 small shot glass-sized ceramic cups were brought
out. The tradition is that the cups go in opposite directions around the circle and
everyone takes a shot, starting with the oldest person present.. I had a few...and
then was offered some of the food in front of us in the circle. It was snake. They
had just killed and 'cooked' it right before we arrived. I ate some with spicy ass
chilis. Not bad. Chewy. Then the 'tube guy' got back and we jumped in 'em and
started floating down the chocolate brown river to the tiny village where the tube guy
lived. We then climbed into the boat to be taken back to Muang Neua. It was an
epic adventure. This was just a partial description of the awesomeness!!
an 8 hour boat ride up the Nam Ou river - alone - to a small town called Muang
Neua. There is not much written about it. I was making my brave bid for the
Vietnamese border. Celene was going to fly from Vientienne to Hanoi and I was
going to take a series of insecure buses and try to cross the border in the North.
You never know until you try right? So we parted ways in Vientienne and I made
my way via bus back up to Luang Prabang (around 15 hours) and then the next day
I got in a tiny boat with three other travelers and got cozy. It was now or never. It
was the rainy season and reports of closed roads and stranded buses were rampant.
Oh yeah, I only had about $27.
Upon arriving in Muang Neua, there were no immediate accommodations visible, but
I wasn't looking for any because I was determined to find a bus that would take me
closer to the Vietnamese border. We docked and everyone scattered. I was told
many different things by many different people - "the bus comes tonight at 9:30pm,
the bus comes tomorrow..etc etc." I did not get a straight answer from anyone.
Instead of finding a place to sleep, I settled down with a few beer laos at an Indian
food resteraunt. Yes, an Indian food resteraunt. I then encountered several
travelers, two guys and a couple that all spoke english. Four hours later, no bus
showed up, there are no lights, only candles and it was now absolutely pitch black. I
had no place to stay but I stuck with the group of travelers I met and we made our
way across the huge bridge back to the 'expensive hotel' on the other side of the
river. These hillside bungalows were the equivalent of $15 per night! Remember,
this was a place where the poshest rooms were about 10$ a night!! They were tiny
bungalows but more securely made than most, with concrete walls and foundation
instead of bamboo thatching and a hose (aka the shower) was inside the room, not in
a separate showering hut We all hung around and chatted until late and then it was
time to go to sleep. I was going to wake up early and get on that bus! So I got to
the bus stop at 8:30am and wouldn't you know it, but the bus had come the night
before! Supposedly. Still not giving up on my dream of going into Vietnam via the
northern route, I inquired of anyone and everyone I met. Met a couple of older
travelers who were going by motorcycle all over South East Asia. They promptly
informed me that the roads were washed out and the trip took 13 hours, not the
intended 7. In addition, no regular bus went from the border to Hanoi. It was by
private rented car/taxi only...for probably $60!! I was running low on kip anyways,
there were no atms in Muang Neua and I had limited options. I was now resigned to
getting back to Luang Prabang (via bus not slow boat) and then off to Hanoi via 15
hour bus to Vinh, Vietnam and then another 15 hour bus to Hanoi. I had a deadline,
I was to meet Celene in three days time. I was already way behind and there was
no internet access to let her know. I had my fingers crossed and bought myself
another Lao Coffee.
All this information came to me by 9am. I had three Lao coffees, seven cigarettes
and an M-180 (energy drink of the non-US approved contents). I WAS READY
TO START MY DAY. If I wasn't going to cross the northern border, then
goddamnit, I was going to have myself a fucking adventure. So I went "farang
hunting".....'Farang' is the word for tourist in Thai, granted I was in Laos but to hell
with it. I met up with the two guys and the couple from the previous evening and
pitched them my plan....it was now 9:30am.
My plan was to get the regularly scheduled ferrying boat up-river to a smaller village
and rent inner tubes and float downriver a la VangVien-style. After a bit of
persuasion, I got the four to agree. Then we went to the river to inquire about the
boat schedule. Well, turns out that the first boat already left and the next one didn't
leave until late afternoon. That wouldn't work. I then hustled a bit and asked how
much it was to rent an entire boat. It was a very expensive $45!! Well, doing some
quick math, I decided that I'd find seven people to come on this adventure with me.
I informed the others that it would be $5 each and we'll be taking a private boat...we
just need to find a few more people. I ran across the bridge to the other side and
promptly began knocking on random hut doors. My coffee-fueled enthusiastic pitch
was given to several people- some spoke english... others didn't. My opening line? "
WANT TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE?!?!?"
I recruited a wonderful English couple and we all set off toward the dock. The dock
consisted of seven hand-poured concrete stairs leading to the waters edge. This
'village' was a village. A 'T' intersection where the bridge (where the hell did this
bridge come from?!) went over the river and a bunch of bamboo and concrete
hut-structures. All dirt and mud. TONS OF MUD. Did I mention it was pissing
down rain?
We all stopped off at a little place that looked like a store and bought 2-3 liter-sized
Beer Laos each and cigarettes. I had a waterproof case that I shoved my cigarettes
into, my camera was left in the hut (thankfully!) and we set out in the boat. A few
locals asked if we could give them a ride and we welcomed them with open arms.
After dropping off a few people along the riverbank and drinking most of our beers
(sharing with all passengers!) we arrived at a tiny village about 45 minutes upstream.
We scrambled off, not understanding what our boatman was trying to tell us. We
were looking for the 'tube guy'. He was apparantly upriver even further, doing
what...we weren't sure (his sister, who owned and operated ALL the tiny resteraunts
in the tiny village was the one who told us!) But we managed to convince our
boatman to take us to him for $5 more! Woo hoo! Onward adventures!.... lets say
after three liters of Beer Lao I was determined! We arrived at this anchored but
floating covered raft. It looked like the itty bitty open patio of a houseboat. There
were 12 Lao men chillin', eatin' and drinking! We essentially crashed their party.
The 'tube guy' was there, spoke to me, I negotiated to have everyone get a tube for
a reasonable fee and then hetold me he had to go get them....they were in the village
we just came from...at his sisters resteraunt! It's still pissing down rain by the way....
We were told to sit and hang out. We did. We then got introduced to "Lao
Whiskey". What exactly 'Lao Whiskey' is, I have no idea. All I know is that we all
sat in a circle, cross-legged and 2 small shot glass-sized ceramic cups were brought
out. The tradition is that the cups go in opposite directions around the circle and
everyone takes a shot, starting with the oldest person present.. I had a few...and
then was offered some of the food in front of us in the circle. It was snake. They
had just killed and 'cooked' it right before we arrived. I ate some with spicy ass
chilis. Not bad. Chewy. Then the 'tube guy' got back and we jumped in 'em and
started floating down the chocolate brown river to the tiny village where the tube guy
lived. We then climbed into the boat to be taken back to Muang Neua. It was an
epic adventure. This was just a partial description of the awesomeness!!
